Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Today,  Conceptual Reception has been born in the form of Blog. (This choice is, of course, in opposition to my earlier, and rather grandiose, aspirations towards Delicious Zine-Distro.) In addition, my dear new blog also lends itself well to rapid disguise amidst corporate goings-on. Caught at work with blunt Crayolas in hand no more! The Mighty and Reductive Left Click shall, in dangerous circumstances, render my expository shenanigans well-nigh invisible.

I will now pander to my own need for Artificial Narrative Structure. Yes, that's right: I am a slave to life's little parentheses, and perhaps guilty of creating them where they have not voluntarily appeared. However, another gleaming quality of the Blog Realm is its patience with self-indulgence, and I would feel lax in avoiding this generous opportunity.

  1. End College/Ejection
    • 1. Freshly-printed diploma in hand, bearing some capitalized letters that mean important things to people with their own staplers, I made a research-free decision to move to the California Bay Area.
    • 2. Studio Apartment (-$1000/mo) +Professional Acting/Touring Career (+$HORRIFED GASP/mo). I traveled the West Coast this way, performed in a different city every day, acquired five shiny new stitches in my chin, and learned to live out of a Swiss Gear Backpack for two weeks. Valuable? Yes. Exhausting? Mais OUI.
    • 3. In mid-November, I proved video-game nay-sayers wrong, demonstrating that Tetris teaches some innordinately valuable life skills. I also discovered that somehow:
      Two Suitcases + One Backpack + Six Months = HUGE Amounts of Accumulated Knick-Knackery

    • 4. Who would have imagined that, in the process of moving one mile down El Camino Real, a rented vehicle would manage to find its way into a crash? This magnificent moment served as the hallmark of my second relocation in six months, and excitedly I strode forth into my new shared-apartment life.

  2. The Proverbial "Pair" Is Grown
    • 1. Sure, we all fly off the handle when we're worked 80 hour weeks and not compensated for it. The key is in the Marketing. (Here, of course, I refer to my continual insistence that ending my Children's Theatre stint was not due to an incidental moment of wrath, but rather to my evolved self-awareness. This slightly-fictitious entity told me that being able to afford food would be okay.)
    • 2. If there's one thing I find delicious, it's an impromptu overhaul! I danced my last
      witchy dance across a stage in Northern California, frolicked my way through the
      turning of 23 years, and dove into a solid week-point-five of Consideration. Here again we see a few guest appearances from Frosty Glass of Gin.
    • 3. RECEPTION! (Yes, we've reached the apex!)
      In a very grown up list entitled "Things I Like," I was startled to find appearances by: Food (And Eating It When I Am Hungry), Shelter (And Being Able to Pay for It), Books (And Stacking Them/Rolling Around in Them/Buying Them More Friends)...
    • 4. I sought and found a job that would let all of these things CO-EXIST! (I, too, bore a semblance of shock.) Despite the raised [perfectly waxed] eyebrows of Life's Voice-Over Commentators, I skipped through the doors of my first Silicon Valley Software Company and planted my excited butt right behind the reception desk.
    Two months later, I now begin my Compendium of Reception Knowledge. Hang on to your monogrammed mugs....


Caroline said...

Your excited butt?... Was the rest of you excited, too?

Did you really get busted coloring at work?

This is why i love you. Well, partially.


Kelly Biscopink said...

ummmm, i love you. we are related. i know this for sure now. you shure do no a lot of big wordz! (oh, and I love how you want to buy your books more friends. this is good rationalization for our problem.) LOVE YOU


Adam said...

I love you and shall continue to read you daily in an uncompromising effort to fine tune my waning vocabulary.

My work week hit it's high when I wrote this little gem into a web story about the Norton Center show line-up:

"Also appearing, in his commercial performance debut, Adam Brown will perform his widely panned production 'Jackin' It Like You Just Saw Your Mom Naked for the First Time.' With gross-out comedy galore and wretched musical numbers such as, 'Mommy's Twatty Tastes Like Potty' and 'My Lotion is the Motion Potion' your children will cry every time you bring them back to the Norton Center. Bring tissues…for the tears or what have you."

It was promptly removed upon revision by my supervisor.

In any event...I think you're ballin'. Good luck finding friends for your books, too. Perhaps this imaginary hug I'm sending you via bullshit will find you and turn into money upon arrival. Mmmmm...there you go.

Hope all is well!